Thursday, October 16, 2014

Shit People Say To Private Detectives

Were you a cop?
I always wanted to be a PI.
Are you spying on me?
I’d make a good PI, I followed my husband once.
Do you drive a red Ferrari?
Do you get a lot of chicks?
Are you like Rockford?
Are you like Magnum?
Do you carry a gun?
Do you carry a badge?
I want to do what you do. Fun!
Do you have a Pee-cup in your car?
What did you major in to become a PI?
How big is your lens?
Can you find my High School girlfriend?... Not that I still got a thing for her.

Do you have law enforcement background?
You should write a book.
What is the difference between a PI and a Private Dick?
How can I become a PI?
Do I need a license to become a PI?
Don’t you need to be a cop first?
Don’t women make better PI’s?
Can you arrest people?
Can I see your handcuffs?
How do I get a job as a Private Investigator?
Tell me about your equipment?
Did you go to PI School?
Can you get me my government record?
Good cop or bad cop?
Shouldn't I just use the internet?
Can you find my mom’s anonymous sperm donor?
I was a product of a one night stand and my mom didn’t know the guy’s name. Can you find him anyway?

What’s Pro Bono?
You mean I have to pay for this!
I think there is a bug in my apartment.
I think someone planted a bug in my head.
I can beat a polygraph test!
Can you tap my boyfriend’s phone?
Do you have a blonde undercover decoy with big boobs?
Why does that plastic cup in your glove compartment smell like urine?

Jay Rosenzweig

1 comment:

Paul Proffitt said...

With the work I do, I've found these particular kinds of sites (public records search) to be very useful. In real estate you Must know the kind of people your dealing with, and doing county record research manually can be very time consuming. I will say though, you must find the right source to run your queries. The sites that are referred to as scams are perceived that way because they don't keep their databases up to date. Make sure you find one that up-dates their data on a regular basis and when you do, at that point, they are performing a task and a service, one I might add is not so easily accomplished unless you consider searching and sorting out thousands of bits of information, easy? Which can very well be the case when researching information on a particular individual via search engines or state/county websites. Yes, they are charging you a fee for compiling public information, and yes you can search for it yourself, but that's exactly the nature of the service provided, it saves you the leg work, or in this case, the finger work. ;)

As far as cost go, take for example Florida, their state website charges a 24.00 fee for Each name you choose to run a search for, regardless of the results. That's 24.00 PER search. In my book that's a little pricey.... Where as a search provider will usually offer a single one off fee for a single report, or you can subscribe to their members area, on a monthly basis, and run multiple record searches of many variety. Some even offer court running, which is actually going down to the local court house to apply for the information you are requesting.

To make clear, Not all states do... allow public record retrieval. With each of the various 50 states you’ll find that the types as well the availability of search-able records will vary, depending on local and state laws. Now take a capable record search website, like the one I use on a regular basis, PAR has an entire page that explains what types of information can be retrieved online or physically from each of the 50 states, as well as a lot of other useful information pertaining to this topic. And yes, you can do a free name search for potential availability, and email them with any questions you may have.

Hope this post has helped clarify some of the misconceptions surrounding websites that offer public record retrieval.